media, deal



by tollieschmidt

Question by problem.girl16:

How can I deal with sex in the media?

I just turned 20. I've had sex twice, and i found myself thinking, "This is not what I want". I feel pressured by the media, all of these sexual messages making it seem like I was suppose to have done it when I was in my teens or if I haven't had it by now, then I'm stupid. It seems like, if you have a boyfriend you're suppose to be having sex with him, yet it's ridiculous because we're dependent, don't have our own space to explore and love each other, and can't afford the risk, let alone dates. ...and I had this goal for myself to wait until I was married because then I'll know I really love him. Sometimes I feel as if I went back on my promise to myself like maybe I didn't really love him but I did it anyway. It seems like sex is suppose to be the center of our lives, it's the only really good feeling we can get that will make us happy, but I feel like there's more to life than just sex. Yes I'm curious about sex, I want to know what feels so good, but at the same time, I don't really want to care about it. There's a time for sex, but I feel not in my life right now.

So when I see images or messages on tv or in popular music, or when I go to my general ed classes and I have to do exercises where I have to find subliminal messages of sex in our studies, or compare a bunch of images to the sex process, I feel uncomfortable especially since I'm trying not to focus on it. I'm going to college, trying to follow my dreams and yet, I don't want to get caught up in the hype about it and start thinking I "need" it cause "everyone wants sex". I know it's apart of our society, I'm not trying to run from it, but I'm trying to deal with how I feel about it. What can I do so that I can feel better about it and accept it without loosing my morals or self respect?




Best answer:

Answer by Amy Lu
What you have to think about is the media has to deal with the issues that the majority of the readers are dealing with, and lots of people feel that they are ready for sex or even if they dont think about it they still have sex. You dont need to worry about if you're normal or if you're abnormal for having or not having sex. Don't feel pressured into something you dont think your ready for, you have plenty of time. When you feel your with a person your really into and you want to, then you can. I think you should try and ignore the magazines, and when your reading like heat or something skip the pages about sex if they make you feel uncomfortable. When i was a teen i got loooads of male attention and alot of 'offers' for sex but i ignored it, i wasnt pressurised into it.

And there are probably millions who feel just like you, so really dont worry

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